I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
