i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
