Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
