had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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