I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
