You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize