she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
