my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
and you fell through a lawn chair
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