You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
