he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize