as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize