Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
