I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize