no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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