Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You're like the curious george of whores
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
