Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
