You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i think i just lost a toe
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
