once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize