So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
