Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
