hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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