You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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