He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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