And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
