hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize