i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
