Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
