he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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