I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
