she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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