Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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