so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
