You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
