All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Can't talk, ducks in the car
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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