ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
