Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
