So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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