just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
