hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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