but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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