she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We had to coat check the pizza.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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