he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My penis needs a shock collar
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
