even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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