shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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