I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
