never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
