Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
