..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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