Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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