Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
