Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
