No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm jealous of your bromance
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
