Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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