A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
