I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
