You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize