I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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